Saturday, May 23, 2009

(New Series) EasyVeg: Simple Recipes for the Moralist on the Go - Caprese Salad

Caprese Salad

Complexity: 1 couch potato (out of 5)
Nutrition: 2 turnips (out of 5)

1) Get a casserole or tupperware dish with a lid.
2) Rinse a container of grape tomatos and pour into the dish (cut in half if you have time)
3) Rinse a container of pearl-size fresh mozzarella balls (make sure to get the ones without rennet) and add to the dish
4) Drizzle some olive oil, close lid, and give a medium-size shake to stir.
5) Add your choice to taste: salt, lemon, basil, balsamic vinegar, capers (my favorite)

(Have an idea for this series? E-mail me!)

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Maybe not the funniest joke ever told

Guy: "Do you want to go out tomorrow night?"

Girl: "Sorry, I'm busy. I have a meeting of Multiple Personalities Anonymous Anonymous."


Monday, May 18, 2009

Cinco de Mayo: Vegetarian Can Still School a Pinata

I whacked that sucker's head right off at the floor picnic! Fiesta Andrea!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Special Day

Despite my protestations to my made-up god and insistence that things start looking up before I got measurably older, my birthday arrived once again. But, as Doug used to say, "better to get older than the alternative."

My business trip for this week was cancelled (and I may have been kept at home anyway due to my health) and my day in the office was typical: pain and exhaustion and boredom broken up by flashes of energy and happiness/focus for 15-60 minute increments during which I was distracted from my self-pity by human interaction or an interesting endeavor.

I decided to organize a group outing to the one activity we've all said we should do and never never done: the Comedy and Magic Club. I figured I was too old to advertise my birthday, so I didn't tell anyone at first the reason for the outing, simply stating that it was a "special day". But you know me, I like attention and I like to feel special (especially now), so I kept shamelessly leaking my secret throughout the day.

Note: If someone invites you to go out for their birthday, then follows up in person to ask you if you can go to their thing, the WRONG response is "what thing?".

I had a handful of "declines", two "accepteds", and a right bushel of no responses. With that kind of social apathy I felt like I was back in grad school, where they taught me "'yes' means 'maybe', 'maybe' means 'no', and 'no' means 'hell no'". BUT it didn't matter: the three of us had a wonderful time. The night was for a charitable cause that was never fully disclosed; from what we could gather, the subject was a young man who had been involved in a car accident in which the other driver was drunk and the three other occupants were killed. Very sad. For our donation, we were rewarded with four funny comics and one really good magician.

It was an absolutely fabulous day!

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Simple Minds, Simple Pleasures

Come on, you can't help but find this a LITTLE entertaining (and also a little amazing)...

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Maybe 2009 isn't my year...

Ok, so the twitching I lamented previously is not a symptom of my virus, as I guessed. After about a week, I called my internist and asked her if she'd experienced it with her virus. She said "no" and that I better go to the ER. She thought it might be a stroke. The urgent care doctor thought it was a potentially-lethal imbalance of calcium in the blood. At 1AM last Tuesday morning, the hospital decreed I had low potassium and gave me three days of supplements. Here's the catch, though: after my potassium levels went back up and all my labs came back normal, the twitching didn't go away!

Desperate, I decided to try acupuncture. I thought it might balance my organs or my chi or something. This might be obvious, but acupuncture is not pleasant. I thought I could handle her putting needles in my arms or legs or back, but no... she put them in my toes and fingers and hands! Ouch! The toes really set off my twitching (probably a reaction to the pain/stress moreso than the pressure point) until I felt like I was having a seizure right there, on her table, in my underclothes. I think she may have gotten a little enjoyment out of setting me off by twisting some of the needles after they were in. The second time I went it was not as bad, but I still don't feel any better. It's funny - sometimes the needles can irritate the skin, so after she removes them she has an herb that she burns and puts on the most sensitive areas. I came back to the office smelling like pot!

The prevailing theory by my team on the twitching is now a medication side effect. I hope that's it. That sounds easy to fix. But so far the doctor who prescribed that med is denying it could be the cause. I think I'll call her again tomorrow and put my foot down.

Here's a new development: Dr. Fancypants the Infectious Disease Specialist had a cancellation today and for half a grand agreed to see me. After reviewing the labs, squeezing all my organs, and getting an in-depth history, he hypothesized that a complement of two or more viruses (viri?) is to blame for my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and probably also my recurrent sinus infections, hypothyroidism, and IBS. Took a gallon of blood to run some tests and told me to take it easy with a little exercise and maybe try some immune-boosting remedies like probiotics and Chinese mushrooms. I'm not sick enough at present to merit the more aggressive and extremely expensive treatments he's investigating. That's good information, but not a whole lot of bang for my buck.

In related news, I was approved for disability and medical leave for the CFS, so now I have a few hundred hours I can take off if I should relapse (the specialist is guessing 6 months from now but it's hard to predict). That's good to know. I finished two complete weeks at work but am finding that getting back into the swing of things is quite difficult. It's hard for me to focus.

Here's an update in the continuing Saga of Andrea's Wrist. I did eventually get that cortisone shot I was so afraid of, and took it like a woman. It actually didn't hurt so much... but it sure did the next day! I had a hard time dressing myself. A week or two ago I went back to the specialist and he squeezed my wrists. For different reasons (mine more painful than his) we both came to the conclusion that the cyst is still there but is smaller now. So he released me and told me to come back if the pain interferes with my work again. So that's good news!

Monday, May 04, 2009

The Funniest Joke Ever Told

How I Met Your Mother

Marshall gets carried away after discovering the joys of the graphics department at work. One night out for drinks he surprises his friends with a demonstration:

"Here I made a pie chart describing my favorite bars."

(flips to new chart)

"Here, I made a bar chart describing my favorite pies."